More Zombie Films! And a warning against Zombie Nation!

I plead to you, Zombie Jesus, that you grant us with a plethora of Zombie films.

As I walk down the aisle of my local video store I notice a clear lack of Zombie themed films, sure there's the Resident Evil films, which just barely are zombie flicks, or my personal favorite Romero films, and a lot of B zombie films, but that's about it. Maybe one or two come out a year, and sometimes they are so God awful I wish I had never even SEEN a television before, (looking straight at you here Zombie Nation - but I'll touch on that turd later).

I want some more great Zombie films like Dawn of the Dead, Flight of the Living Dead, Day of the Dead (the original), or even some decent B zombie films like Severed: Forest of the Dead, Evil Dead, and many other excellent movies.

The problem is, I believe, that too many shitty zombie flicks came out and just ruined it for everyone. It seems like with every good film, you get three shitty ones. Like a turd in the punchbowl, everyone quickly stops wanting to drink from the tainted mixture.

So, while I plead for the beauty that is a good zombie flick, I also am going to be a chooser beggar and ask that you don't include any turds in my feast. . . now speaking of turds . . .

I want to know who the fuck decided that making Zombie Nation would be a good idea, what person in their right mind saw this and then said, "Hell yeah, that looks good. Lets put it out on DVD." Well, that person needs a nut punch till they die. Just one look at the DVD box art makes you think your in for a real treat, then you actually watch that piece of dog shit and realize that it was all a con to get you to buy the film.

(somewhere in Satan's lair)
"Yeah, make the box look awesome, fool those suckers into buying this piece of shit, then BAM! They're stuck with it, and we're rolling in dough!"

That is my interpretation of exactly what happened during the final stages of this piece of donkey shit. Don't believe me? This is what the box art looks like:


(Interesting, and kind of cool right?)

And here is what the Zombies ACTUALLY look like!


(What the FUCK??!)

That's what they look like? What are they, Zombie Raccoons?! Someone really fucked up on the makeup department for this one. Had they ever even watched a zombie flick? Probably not, because if they had, they would have killed themselves after this piece of shit came out.

Worst of all, the Zombies are sentient, yes they can think and control themselves, they even become fucking cops in the end . . . after watching this piece of crap I just wanted to cry. How could anyone make this and call it a Zombie film? Well, I call bullshit on you buddy, this isn't a zombie film, I'd rather watch the actual video from the Ring and have that undead girl come out of my television and rape my face then watch this turd ever, ever, again.

If you see this, don't buy it, watch it, think about it, or even say the name aloud. Like Voldemort in Harry Potter, Zombie Nation is an evil entity that should be banished to the depths of hell forever.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space - Awesomeness in a Klown Kar -

There is something sinister about a clown, always smiling and laughing, you know they've killed a few people and are completely insane, even if they say they haven't. When Killer Klowns from Outer Space came out, the filmmakers felt the same way, but this time the clowns are aliens, a double whammy, alien clowns? Count me in! Also, how can you not instantly love a film which boasts the tag line "In Space No One Can Eat Ice Cream", brilliant right?

Part comedy, Science Fiction, and Horror Killer Klowns from Outer Space blends genres so perfectly that it has become a classic amongst horror fans. The story begins as a mysterious flying saucer is seeing landing, then instead of a spaceship there is a circus tent! The people who go to approach it of course think absolutely NOTHING of an unadvertised circus in the middle of nowhere with nothing else around it, nor any signs indicating it's a circus. They're probably thinking "Fuck yeah! A circus!", which is honestly what I'd probably be thinking too.

Anyway, a couple of young teens get into the tent and find that this is no ordinary circus, matter of fact, these aren't ordinary clowns . . .shit! These are Killer Klowns from Outer Space! The clowns decide it's time to descend upon the town and start to gather the citizens for later consumption by encasing them in a cotton candy like substance.

Soon there are only a handful of people that are able to save the city, and the world, from these killer klowns. Of course they do, but the film kicks absolute ass along the way.

Now I ask, how can you get any better than Killer Klowns from Outer Space? Well, it's hard, because this movie is freaking awesome. Not only does it boast some cool music when the Klowns are killing people, but it's simply hilarious! Take for example this line heard early on as the two main characters are being attacked by popcorn guns:

"Popcorn? Why Popcorn?"
"Because their Clowns! That's why!"

That line had me rolling with laughter, how simply and finite the answer is, there is no room for arguments, by saying that their clowns it explains all of their actions. Later on the Klowns even break out the shadow puppets in order to distract and then capture some people. A cop pulls up with one of the teens who tells him the Klown is going to kill the people, how does the cop react?

"Wait, I want to see this."

Why be a good cop when you cant watch people devoured by space clowns? Another funny thing is how at the end no one seems to be bothered by the deaths of so many people, the girl is safe, the comic relief brothers are safe, and everyone is ok . . . except for the WHOLE TOWN which was captured and killed, ah well, casualties of Klown war I suppose.

There are many other moments of dark humor featured throughout the movie and the DVD contains some great test scenes for the actors playing the clowns as well as bloopers and behind the scenes featurettes.

If you don't own Killer Klowns from Outer Space, what the hell is wrong with you?! Go out now! Drop what you're doing and go buy this DVD. It should be featured proudly in everyone's horror collection, as it is in mine.

Death Tunnel - A cinematic sleeping pill -

I, like most people who watch horror, enjoy getting scared and seeing a good ghost story. The scarier the better, and when you set your story in a real life sanatorium I'm all for it. Sadly, Death Tunnel takes what could be a great scenario and flushes it down the toilet.


(Even the cover art is confusing and boring)

Death Tunnel is a confusing story about five college students, who are only mildly attractive (despite what the DVD box says) and places them in Waverly Hills Sanatorium, they have to survive five hours with five ghosts in this five floored sanatorium . . . I'm already dozing off at this pathetic catch to the movie.

This could have been interesting if it had a little bit of something to it, like good directing, good acting, good editing, a good story, good effects . . . hm, I see a pattern starting to arise, five bad things wrong with it . . . hm . . . anyway, this film falls so far flat from everything that it could have been that in the end it appears to be a cheap thrill fest put on by a team of filmmakers who have never even watched a single movie.

If you're looking to get scared here, you wont, the ghosts are cheap looking, and pathetically displayed. The worst part is anytime anything begins to be even remotely interesting it is ruined by a flashback, followed by some of the worst "fast" editing I have ever seen in a horror film.

I have watched a lot of B Grade horror, and loved them, but this film only succeeded in putting me to sleep. Nothing of value whatsoever is present in this atrocious film, no I'm wrong, there is some nudity, but even that nudity was just OK. You know a movie is bad when bare breasts can't even save it.

Don't buy it, watch it, or think about it. Instead check out Session 9, a film also set in Waverly Hills Sanatorium, but one that does a much better job of being creepy.

My Favorite Horror Character

This is a tough one, do I choose my standby Jason Vorhees, or the Blob (one of the scariest entities in a horror film in my opinion), the clown from poltergeist (which upon viewing in real life as a child, made me unleash an ungodly amount of shit into my kiddie pants) or should I go with my actual favorite . . .

And that distinction belongs to Rawhead Rex, the demonic creature from the film (Of the same name) by Clive Barker.

(Isn't he a cutie? I bet his breath must smell like a mix of god-awful Juicy Fruit gum and rotting corpses- or is that what Juicy Fruit actually smells like? Hm... I should conduct an experiment on that one.)

Aw, Rawhead Rex, what a fascinating relationship we have shared over the years. On the one hand, you scare the living bejesus out of me, on the other hand you scare the living bejesus out of me.

I remember being a kid and watching this (wait what the hell was I doing watching this as a kid, where were my parents?!) with my best friend at the time, and then running into his backyard and pretending Rawhead Rex was following us. I don't think I have ever run that hard in my life, which just goes to show you that Gym classes should have had a crazed lunatic chasing you if they wanted us to actually run fast.

The creepiness of Rawhead Rex stayed with me well into my adult years, as a horror film fanatic I would measure all monsters in film up to Rawhead Rex, did they scare me as much? Most could never even come close to the level of love I felt for Rawhead Rex. The only monster that has ever come anywhere close to the that level are the Zombies from George Romero's films.

That is why Rawhead Rex is my favorite horror character, scary, evil, and just downright terrifying to look at. If you haven't watched Rawhead Rex I would recommend going out and finding a copy of it. Unfortunately Netflix doesn't have it up for rent, or I would suggest going there. Sadly the because this movie has been discontinued by the manufacturer of the DVD it can be fairly pricey to own (Amazon has new copies for upwards of two-hundred bucks, and used starting at around ninety dollars!) The movie may be corny, and sometimes just down right as confusing as a fan of pop romantic comedies, but it is a great example of horror done right. Lots of gore, violence, and a creepy as all hell monster who would love nothing better than to come into your house and tear you apart limb from bloody limb.

Rawhead Rex, you scare the living shit out of me, and I fucking love you for it.


(He just wants to introduce you to his pal here, unfortunately his friend isn't much for conversation. . . )


Who is your favorite horror character?

What it's all about

Let me explain what this blog is all about. Scenes from our Nightmares is my blog about Horror films (obviously with a title like that, you didn't think this was about grooming puppies did you?), I have been an avid horror film fan since I was a little boy, when my Mother decided I was old enough to appreciate the horror genre. My Mother, being the genius she is, decided I was old enough at the age of four. However, unlike most kids my age, I didn't run from the horrors I saw in the films I watched, instead I scooted closer to the TV and fell in love with them. My Mother, god bless her, if not for her I could be a fan of romantic comedies, now that would be a nightmare!

So, before I knew it I was wrapped up in the lives of Michael Myer's and Jason Vorhees. I was following along with the deranged family from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and rooting on the Zombies in George R. Romero's masterpieces. I had given myself completely over to the horror genre and was so wrapped up in it that I barely would watch anything else.

As time went on I expanded my tastes a lot and started to watch other genres and even to love other genres (and no, Romantic comedies has never found a place in my heart. In the toilet maybe, but my heart? No.), but at heart I was always looking for unbridled terror and buckets of gore. I wanted to see people fleeing from an unnaturally strong enemy who was willing to rip them apart just for coming near him. I was, and always will be, a Horror junkie.

Of course, any idiot can write a review of a film, it's not hard. You can follow the generic license plate factory format and pump out handfuls of reviews in no time flat, and that is not what this blog is about. This blog is about my love of the Horror Genre, of my thoughts on the films I watch and what I liked, and did not like about them. What gave Friday the 13th part 1 that certain something that My Bloody Valentine lacked? Why do I fall head over heels in love with Zombie flicks? Why is it scarier when a film takes place in an abandoned asylum rather than an old house?

I want this horror blog to be a realm of discussion where people can get together and just talk about what they liked about a film, and what made them stop it half way through and chuck the damn DVD (or beta tape, if you're watching really old hard to find Horror films) out the window and wonder why the hell you got it in the first place. I want this blog to be that companion to a horror movie you've just seen, like a friend sitting next to you and discussing what you just saw, or laughing at the terrible acting and making fun of it.

This blog will be an extension of myself, the side of me that loves Horror films and all things horror related. My own comments on films, books, and anything else that fits snugly into that beloved genre we call Horror.

So sit back, grab a beer (or whatever your personal beverage of choice may be) and enjoy your stay. Oh, if you have a suggestion for a horror film I should watch, let me know! I've seen a lot of horror films, but I am always open to watching more! Or if you know of a good horror novel, same deal goes. Drop me a line in the form of a comment and let me know what you like and recommend and I'll be sure to throw it onto my list of stuff to watch/read.

Thanks for dropping in, and I hope you enjoy what you find here.

-William